Gather around kids. I’m going to tell you of story of Flatland.

The people of Flatland were simple two-dimensional sprites. Some prominent members of Flatland were named Mario, Donkey Kong, Link, Samus, and Kirby.

They were the leaders of this land. They traveled up, down, left, and right, to vanquish evil, entertain audiences and spark the imagination. They were loved and adored and respected by millions.

But sometimes, these heroes wondered - is this EVERYTHING we could ever be? Sometimes, they sensed that there was an entirely different dimension that fell outside of their perception… if only they could somehow… touch it, experience it, and travel through it. Perhaps they would have entirely new types of adventures, entertain entirely new types of people, and become truly immortal.

Then, one day, a dude named Fox discovered flatland and flew to it in his Arwing. Unlike the others, this fellow had experienced the 3rd dimension and told them a story of its incredible depth.

“I’ve done barrel rolls in my Arwing through space and traveled along something called a Z-Axis” said the fox. "My secret is to harness the special power of an artifact I found in Europe called the FX Chip. Unfortunately, I did not see any extras in my travels. One was gobbled up by a dinosaur and he started seeing the world in crayon form. And another one was installed on some stupid car with dumb eyes. Unfortunately, I do not know where we could get any others. "

The heroes listened on and started to sulk. “Mama-mia, if only we could have a means of accessing the 3rd dimension ourselves, we would be even more kick-ass” said Mario to his friends.

Then, suddenly, the Fox said “To hell with this, let’s ALL find a new means of being even more kick-ass. I hate how my ship flies so slow. I want true freedom in the 3rd dimension with you all.” And so, all of the best characters from flatland crammed themselves into Fox’s tiny Arwing and they took off into space.

While in space, the crew ran into Andross - a giant monkey head made of robot parts or something. Andross gobbled up the tiny ship and the crew was entirely consumed. While inside the monkey’s head, they found a giant processor that powered Andross. Together, they dislodged it, causing Andross to shut down.

With their new processor in hand, they flew to Japan where they were all born and spoke to a guy named Hiroshi Yamauchi who decided it was his goal to develop Andross’s processor into something better than anything ever experienced before - capable of harnessing three dimensional power to the max.

He contacted his friends at SGI, and Project Reality was born. Finally, the guys at SGI developed a plan to smash the processor to bits - 64 of them to be exact - and have them all working in tandem to create fully 3D worlds to explore for the heroes.

When they finished rearranging the 64 bits, the Nintendo 64 was born! And that is, more or less, how it happened, kids.

The people of flatland became 3-Dimensional and blew everyone’s minds with how kick-ass they were. When it first happened, Mario was on the news and needed to go see himself in the mirror because he couldn’t believe it:

“Mama-mia. I’m so kick-ass like this. Wahoooo!” said the plumber as he effortlessly did an insane backflip for the first time.

There he and his friends were, in their fully 3-Dimensional glory. It had finally happened. They could travel along the fabled Z-Axis naturally as if it were as simple as breathing air.

And in this thread, we will worship the technology that helped Mario and his friends to do it. The Nintendo 64:


Hah, awesome OT Peltz. That sounds exactly how the Nintendo 64 was born.

Real talk time: I probably put 1000+ hours into Perfect Dark with my buddies. What a great multiplayer game, with so much content. We had the most fun setting up crazy matches vs Bots.

A true classic there @Peltz. I’ll be sure to pass this story down to my children and my grand kids!

I have many great memories with the N64. Without Mario Party my palms would not be what they are today. Thank you N64

I belive @Peltz simply translated an old Miyamoto interview.

By the way, if you haven’t played Sin and Punishment yet, please be sure to change that. It’s one of my favorite N64 games and is only going to be on the Virtual Console a few months longer:

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Fact: Mischief Makers is like… fucking amazing.

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Hah, that’s a lovely story Peltz! This is why I don’t make OTs… they’d be boring as hell compared to this!

Anyway, while I don’t have as many games for the N64 as for other systems, I have a huge amount of nostalgia for this system. I was around 10 when it was all the rage and used to rent the whole system over the weekends. Had tons of fun renting different games, but obviously Goldeneye was one of my favorites. Finally one christmas I got one with Goldeneye as a pack-in from my dad. That was probably the most memorable christmas ever for me.

The N64 is also home to the first game I bought with my own money: Majora’s Mask. I became super hooked by OoT, and remember anticipating the sequel by reading magazine previews and news online about it, counting down the months until it came out. When it did come out, I sold my Mega Drive and all my games for it (doh!) to some dude to be able to afford it. I remember that the game was 749 SEK and the expansion pak 299 SEK. So I paid 1048 SEK for the game in total which is like $125 today. Probably more than $150 at the time. But it was well worth it to me and it became my favorite Zelda game to this day.

…I still don’t have a Mega Drive though haha.

S&P1 is also on Wii U VC on the eshop. sure, it’s worse than the Wii VC but it’s there so it’ll be around longer.

There’s also the cart which, other than the menus, is fully English.

oh, so that english text wasn’t added for VC? even better. getting a Wii U won’t be so convenient unlike a Wii, which means importing the cart could be better.

English menus and subtitles on VC are different from the Japanese version which has Japanese instead. But the game is fully voiced in English in the Japanese version too so you can get by with a guide for the menus.

Still never died in to that one… but really want to.

It’s absolutely ridiculous that Nintendo originally left this in Japan when it’s A) one of the best shooters ever made, and B) the N64 was starving for new games at that point. It cost me a lot to import it but it was so worth it.

Great OT! Good to see each console getting their own threads here!

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I don’t get it either. The English version was clearly done.

As a kid I got the cheesy N64 promo VHS and thought it looked awesome. Mario 64 store kiosks were also around at the time.

But then I wound up getting the Saturn, which kinda set me down the arcade and import path because what else were you gonna do~

Of course, a lot of my friends got one and I spent a lot of time playing a lot of the big games, but it was neat to give Sin & Punishment a real go later when it came out on Wii VC.

Do you guys remember the promo where Sega and Sony kidnapped a Nintendo employee to learn about Starfox 64 and the Rumble Pack?

I had a sealed copy of that VHS for almost two decades until I sold it this year. My VCR at the time was eating tapes so I never did end up watching it. I have seen the video on youtube, though.

Man, brand new N64 controllers go for about $200 CAD. I often like to buy new controller whenever possible, and I don’t mind spending $60-$100… as that’s close to what they would’ve been new anyway (especially compared to , say, a brand new Xbox One S controller).

Maybe replacing the joystick is all I would need.

I got a nearly brand new one about 2-3 years ago from a friend who had an N64 as a kid but never played it. Feeling a new stick in my hand was a revelation and brought back a lot of memories from when my N64 was new. It really stinks how much they age… especially if you played too much Mario Party.

Haha I was actually thinking of that video just the other day actually.

It was a different time back then, when you actively mentioned and made fun of the competition in your advertising like that lol.